Unmasking Church Hurt: A Podcast Conversation with Josh Harris
There's a proverbial elephant in the room of our church communities. It's the silent pain, often referred to as "church hurt," lurking just below the surface, unacknowledged and unaddressed. These pains, born out of ministry transitions gone wrong, fractures in church leadership, or the unsettling feeling of spiritual isolation, have, for too long, gone unnoticed. Yet, they remain instrumental in defining the journeys of countless individuals.
Recently, I had the profound opportunity to engage in a candid conversation with Joshua Harris. For many, Joshua's name brings back memories of his influential book, "I Kissed Dating Goodbye." An immediate sensation upon its release, this work propelled him to Christian celebrity status. However, Joshua’s spiritual path evolved dramatically over the years, leading him away from his pastoral role and towards deconstructing his faith. Since then, Josh has released a statement on his book making an apology for the hurt he caused people over the years through his book.
Our dialogue began with a strikingly poignant observation from Joshua:
"I want to acknowledge the elephant in the room... is it bad for your brand to be seen talking to me?"
The sentiment underlying his words is a vivid representation of how challenging it can be to engage in genuine, transparent conversations within church circles. It's an unspoken truth that our Christian communities occasionally struggle with embracing dialogues that push boundaries or challenge conventional narratives.
Joshua, today, spearheads his podcast and company, "Clear And Loud," delving into the world of marketing and messaging. What many might not know is that Joshua was a source of empathy and understanding during my own challenging exit from ministry. He listened to my apprehensions, my doubts, and my anxieties about the future. Our paths, seemingly divergent, were bound by shared experiences, feelings, and challenges.
This intimate conversation, called, “The Holy Mess Of Pastoral Transitions,” which is available on his podcast, showcases the raw, unfiltered realities of transitioning out of ministry. It's a deep dive into the highs and lows, struggles, and breakthroughs that accompany such a journey. For those interested, it offers a lens into the essence of what we strive for at Pastoral Transitions.
The "church hurt" phenomenon, often discussed in hushed tones, is real. Many tread its murky waters, battling feelings of betrayal, disappointment, and spiritual disenchantment. Ministry transitions can be heart-wrenching, filled with uncertainties and questions about identity, purpose, and spiritual direction. The feeling of being uprooted from a community you've served and loved can lead to profound emotional and spiritual pain.
However, this pain isn't just individual - it radiates and impacts entire communities. A congregation can feel the ripple effects of a transition gone wrong, leading to confusion, resentment, and doubt. Church leadership, too, grapples with its own set of challenges, regrets, and lessons learned in retrospect.
Yet, in these stories of pain lies immense potential. Potential for healing, understanding, and growth. The first step towards this is acknowledgment. By recognizing the existence of these wounds and initiating transparent conversations, we pave the way for healing and reconciliation.
This is precisely where platforms like Pastoral Transitions play a pivotal role.
Our mission is to provide a safe space for these dialogues, offering guidance, support, and resources for those navigating the intricate terrains of ministry transitions. By shedding light on stories like Josh's and many others, we aim to cultivate an environment where individuals can find solace, understanding, and a renewed sense of purpose.
But beyond structured platforms, there's a personal responsibility that each one of us holds. It's the responsibility to listen, to empathize, and to extend a hand of support. Josh's journey, like that of many others, underscores the importance of compassion, understanding, and the unifying power of shared experiences.
Ministry transitions, and the challenges accompanying them, are an inherent part of church dynamics. However, by fostering an atmosphere of open dialogue, mutual respect, and genuine concern, we can transform these transitions into opportunities for growth, healing, and spiritual evolution. It's high time we address the "elephant in the room," and in doing so, fortify our communities and amplify the message of Christ's love.
P.S. As we navigate these conversations, let's commit to being more receptive, less judgmental, and always anchored in love.
Matt Davis served as a Teaching and Executive Pastor for more than two decades in Orange County, California. After going through his own pastoral transition out of ministry, Matt learned the difficulty of this season. He helped start Pastoral Transitions, a ministry committed to helping ministry leaders navigate pastoral transitions with grace. As President, he seeks to bring healing a reconciliation to churches and their people.
